The Season of Weddings: Part I

This summer has been the season of wedding. There have been three: One of Memorial Day (Nashville), one at the end of June (Greenville, South Carolina), and one on Labor Day (Kingsport, Tennessee).

I have just returned from the final wedding (oh yeah I was a Bridesmaid in two of the weddings) and in my relief have turned to thinking about the whole thing.

This final wedding was the most amusing. Why you ask? Well, I was in this one - so I got to watch the backstage machinations of the entire even, and (most importantly) as much as I love the bride [my cousin] she is older than I am and so her wedding did not prompt any existential crisis.

Last year the Washington Post Magazine had a article about the wedding industry. The article said that in the Washington DC area the average wedding cost about $20,000. After the things I have seen this summer, I don't doubt this.

The worst part of this entire experience was getting the bridesmaid dresses for the weddings. The first dress was Indigo Blue. A two piece dress, with straps, and an A-line skirt. I ordered the dress from a private shop in South Carolina - but when the dress arrived it was the wrong size. 20 frantic minutes and a 3 phone calls to South Carolina later the crisis was resolved and a new dress was being sent to Silver Spring while the mistake went quickly back to South Carolina.

On the other hand I went through David's Bridal for the second dress. [on a side Note David's Bridal is an Evil Empire that has earned a place in my hated companies list alongside Wal-Mart] This dress was Marine Blue. It was two pieces, strapless, with a straight skirt that flared around the knees, and a white sash [sound familiar?]. So I placed my order and all was good.

Or So I Thought

I received a voice mail from David's Bridal, informing me that my dress arrived and I had five days to pick up my dress. Unfortunately, becacuse of some phone issues, I had no idea what day I received the message.

So I called the store. And they tell me they have never heard of me or my dress. Cue the panic attack and visions of my cousin and aunt disappointed, crying, telling me that I have single-handedly ruined the wedding [I get a little dramatic when i am upset, can you tell?]. So I hang up double check that I am calling the right store [see moment of rationality!] and call back ready to do battle.

The conversation sounded something like this:

Person: "We have no record of you or your dress."
Me: "But you called me, you have to have a record of me."
Person: "We have no record of you or your dress."
Me: "But You called Me, you have to have a record of me."

[15 minutes later]
Person: "We have no record of you or your dress."
Me: "But YOU Called ME, YOU have to have a Record of ME."
Person: "Let me get my manager"
Me: "Oh thank Goodness"

Manager: "Whats your phone number"
Me: [gives phone number]
Manager: "Oh of course, your dress is in the back, come in whenever you can"

And if this wasn't enough when I go in I have this conversation:

Person: "What's your name?"
Me: [gives name]
Person: "We have no record of you or your dress"
Me: "Nooooooooooo"

So they have my name misspelled. We get that corrected and they send someone back to get the dress. They come back and say, "We have no dress under this name." They changed my name on the slip they gave the retriever, BUT my name was still misspelled in the back. So I get my dress and run Far Far Far away to [hopefully] never return.